Characteristics of a Saviour or Fixer Mentality
- People pleasing at their own expense
- Saving or fixing others
- Wanting others to see things, the way they do (Shoulds)
- Fear of rejection
- Fear of being wrong
- Fear of hurting others
- Defining themselves by how much they can help, save or fix others
- Their good deeds cloud everything they do
- Avoiding conflict and confrontation
- People find it easy to walk all over them (they end up becoming doormats literally)
- Saying yes to depletion
- Inability to say No
How NOT to say Yes to everything
- Recognize what you are looking at
- Assess the situation objectively
- Say how you truly feel without consideration of how it will be received
- Be confident about how you feel (No Self-doubt or second guessing yourself)
- Tell others how you truly feel, do not misrepresent the truth or facts
- Set Conditions and Boundaries (“This” will make me happy)
- Hold people Accountable to those Conditions and Boundaries
- Formalize and legitimize what matters to you
- Give Ultimatums (If this does not happen, this will happen)
- See where you can compromise, if at all
- Let people Choose their own paths (A: Yes, B: No)
- Map way forward in any case (if it works out and if it does not)
- Be okay about standing in your own truth no matter what happens
- Putting your own feelings first and foremost above what others feel
- Have a no regrets policy when doing what makes you happy
- Separate your personal life from your professional life
- Appeal to their humanness, speak from the heart, to the heart, be kind and polite always
- Help people in a healthy way that does not compromise yourself or them
- Choose people who share the same beliefs as you
- Remove people or things that make you unhappy. Practice good self-care
