Ever noticed when spring comes, just after a long spell of winter, how uncertain we become about the weather? We want to do our laundry, we want to go out, we want to braai, but we keep checking if the clouds will gather again, if that chill will return, if indeed we can pack away our boots and jackets. We even hold on to them a bit just in case… The same applies to life. After a long spell of trials and tribulations, ups and downs, one day you wake up and realize the struggle is over, you feel light, everything seems easy again, everything you ever wanted is readily available for your taking, things have literally changed overnight, your prayers were answered!

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But… you don’t believe it. You want to be happy but you’re hesitating. You wonder, is this just life teasing you, are you “allowed” to feel this good, has life finally given you “permission” to live? This is not even about you being of little faith, this is not about you not recognizing good things when you see them, no, this is about you being accustomed if not addicted to the hard life so much so that whe‎n calm comes, when bliss knocks at your door, you believe it was a miss, meant for someone else, on a temporary stop over, passing you by…

So you delay the celebration, you put on hold the gratification, joy and peace it has brought, lest it leaves the next morning. You hold on to all your defenses, lest you need them again. Such is life. Such is the human experience. It is not straight cut. It is not black and white. No one can claim to have fully decoded it. We are Seekers…

And like a baby learning to walk, like the cripple injured in an accident, learning to walk again, you put one foot forward, then another, and another…You acknowledge what you feel, you do not deny it no matter how much shame or guilt it brings you, you forge on with the tiniest remainder of strength and courage you can gather, a little unsure, a little shy, a little scared, a little awkward, a little apologetic, a little stunted, but going forward anyway, because at the core of your being, is the desire for none of where we are coming from, less of where we stand, but more of this, more love, more warmth, more light…

And no matter the different seasons we stand in today, we all yearn for Summer, we all could use some Sun, and that’s what makes you and I so alike!

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