The 20s for me were a very turbulent period for me. I can confirm this time as regrettable and if I could do it differently I would. In forgiving myself and making sense of it all, I discovered that it was a necessary phase in my life undoubtedly coming with the crucial life lessons everyone needs.
I’m loving the 30s! For one, I have kicked off heels and am so comfortable in pumps. I’m no longer materialistic and am not motivated by the pursuit of things, instead I value those relationships that warm me up and make my heart smile. I’ve got a few good friends and children I can actually have a sensible conversation with.
The list is endless; I can now make a decision and stick by it, unlike my edgy insecure younger self. I now talk and do, in fact, I do more than talk. I can now make achievable attainable and measurable goals, life has more meaning now! I’m at peace even doing absolutely nothing! I no longer have that urge, that sore hole in my soul of missing something I cannot even describe, or something that belongs to someone else, or something I don’t even need (or want)!
I’m no longer offended by petty things, I’ve also learnt how to stand my ground as a bold confident woman all dignity retained. I can peacefully co-exist with my fellow species, I hold no grudge, I have no unfinished business, I do not have to prove or explain myself to anyone and I do not owe anyone anything. I’m proud to say I can now think before I act or talk, I’ve had my fair slice of the bitter karma and have learnt to be kinder and gentler even in anger.
3 decades of life later, I’ve pulled myself towards myself. I’ve stopped the search and have ‘’come into my own’’. The world’s riches are all embedded within and around me, life, being the exciting delicious adventure to tap into them one by one.
The 30s is a time for serious introspection. You start to gauge life, weigh your actions against possible outcomes, analyze risk and consequence. You become more careful, you preserve more than destroy, the reality and importance of life starts to dawn upon you and you want to hold it dear to you. After all, you have offspring who depend on your survival and prosperity. Your priorities start to be more in order, you work more than play, and you dedicate most of your energy to building a lasting empire.
I’m not sure how many times I’ve been reborn or how many times I’ve re-written my story. Any improvement or progress I’ve ever had, I owe it to this open mindedness and the ability and willingness to learn and grow. The constant questions are; what can I try? What more can I do? The Self-Interrogation is; what can I do better? What can I change?
And it all begins with that one fearless, self-assured (baby) step…