Dating after a painful breakup is not easy. Your guard is up and you are worried about repeating the same mistakes you may have made in the past and you may even find yourself conflicted about just how to behave.

It is particularly important to ensure that you have dealt with any past issues and have completely healed before embarking on a new relationship. Here is how to allay some of your fears:


  1. Talk to your partner about your fears and be honest and open about your background or past pain.
  2. Ask the right questions e.g. Where do they see themselves in 5yrs? What is their opinion on parenting?
  3. Let it flow, see where it goes. Do not make big plans. Manage your expectations. Let them drive.
  4. Be aware and alert. See how they treat other people, observe their other relationships, and assess their emotional health.
  5. Be authentic always. Never change who you are or audit and edit your emotions. How people treat you has nothing to do with who you are but everything to do with who they are as a person. Continue being yourself and the right person will find you.
  6. Develop yourself for yourself. Do not mingle your plans with your partners plans too soon. Until you can be 100% sure of them, have a cushion or plan B for yourself should things go the other way.

What is good about being in a relationship right now? 


  1. You get lots of positivity and feel good vibes.
  2. It restores your self-confidence.
  3. It restores your faith in love again.
  4. You get a different view of the opposite sex. A good different.
  5. It gives you something to do.
  6. You explore and learn more about yourself.

Unless you have evidence to the contrary, assume the best and enjoy the ride!

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